dr l merves-okin

Dr. Louise Merves-Okin

Licensed Psychotherapist

Thoughtful solutions to intimate problems

Frequently asked questions

TOPIC: Discipline

Question

My first grader wants to watch TV before going to school and then she is late for school. We start our day with me yelling and fighting. What can I do?

Answer

The purpose of discipline is to provide your child with the foundation that she will use for the rest of her life. Through discipline your child will learn how to act when you are not around to monitor her. This is called self-discipline. One of the goals of discipline is to:
Teach your child that her actions have consequences.

The basic premise is every privilege comes with a responsibility. The rules are that she needs to be completely ready for school including breakfast and books all packed before she is allowed any privileges. If she follows these rules she has earned her privilege of TV time. It is important to be consistent with the rules.

A parent can say “I am pleased you were dressed so quickly and ready for school and now you have extra time to do something special that you enjoy.” Even younger children understand the concept of earning special privileges. When a child doesn’t follow a rule make the assumption that they haven’t learned the rule sufficiently. Never underestimate the power of repetition. One way to make sure your child understands the rules; ask her the rule and why she should follow it. This will enable your child an additional chance to learn another goal of discipline:
TO HELP YOUR CHILD LEARN SHE IS CAPABLE

Reminder: it takes patience, time effort and repetition to help your child master these rules. It is worth it. These are the steps toward a happier family life.

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